Always Summer Page 9
“Summer?” I questioned.
“Blake?” she responded... she looked bewildered.
“I need to tell you something.” I pleaded. I had to say it now, because if I didn’t, my opportunity to do so again, may never happen.
“I’m in love with you.” I said, looking at her directly in the eyes, willing her to know the truth. She gasped, and put her hand to her mouth. I ploughed on, “I have been in love with you since that first day in the library.” I sighed.
“You love me?” Summer asked, quietly.
“Yes.” I replied, reaching out to brush her tears away.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she asked.
“Because I want you so much, I don’t want it to end.” I reasoned.
“Huh? I don’t understand!” she responded, her eyes spilling more tears, and a sniffle sounding through her nose.
“I want you, for... forever! I know that sounds dumb... I know we are like really young and stuff, but that’s kind of why. That’s why I couldn’t tell you, because I want you to be mine till we grow old.” I explained... my voice was wavering. “And teenage romance, as cute as it sounds doesn’t tend to last, so, because I want more... I didn’t want to tell you till we were older.”
Summer displayed a mixture of anger and dismay in her eyes. She hadn’t moved... I was unsure whether she had even breathed.
“That’s fucked up!” she growled.
“I’m sorry.” I said, “I hadn’t really thought it through sensibly!”
“You planned this?” Summer reacted, sitting up in the bed.
A knock on Summer’s ensuite door broke through. I ran to the door.
“Blake... Summer... I’m just going to take Jordan and Julie downstairs and give them something to eat, since its dinner time. I want to see you both downstairs shortly, or I’m going to come in.” Debbie said, strongly.
“Okay Mrs. MacFarlane.” I responded close to the door, so she thought we were still in the ensuite.
I ran back to Sal’s bed, where Summer now sat with her legs over the side, her head in her hands.
“You let me be strung along with other guys... with Jordan... while you waited for us to grow up?” she said coldly, knifing me in the gut.
“I... look, Summer... it has killed me every second to see you with him. I’ve wanted to kill him on a daily basis.” I explained.
“What about me?” she asked, looking up with confused eyes, that continued to spill tears.
“Did you think it was okay that I gave my body to someone else? Did you think I needed to get experience with someone else, so that when you got to have a turn I’d be good in bed?” She seethed.
I gasped... I was struck by her words, like a blow to my face.
“No Summer... I... I obviously fucked up!” I reasoned.
“Monumentally!” she bitterly replied.
I grabbed her hands, and she tried to wrench them free from me, but I wouldn’t let her.
“I know right now you want to tear me to shreds... but I didn’t plan for anything that complicated... I just knew, I mean, I know - that I love you Summer Rogerson. I just didn’t want a brief teenage experience... I want it all!” I said roughly.
She winced... Her anger was still there, but she was listening.
“Please tell me if you do or can love me back, after knowing all of this.” My voice cracked.
She started crying again.
“Summer, please!” I begged, still holding her hands and moving to keep eye contact with her, even when she closed her eyes.
“You’re and idiot!” Summer screeched through her tears. “I have been struggling for years with how I felt about you... but after Starbucks when you said we could only be friends...” she trailed off, oh... she was mad... she was really mad!
“I loved you for years and years!” she seethed. “I kept telling myself that I wasn’t good enough for you that way... that you were gorgeous, talented and... and... Aargh!” she screeched. “You wanted to be friends! That’s what you said! That’s how you acted! And it was an act... wasn’t it!” she stated, beginning to choke up.
“No, it wasn’t an act... I loved you and I wanted to be your friend... like I said Summer, I want everything!” I said quietly.
She wrestled her right hand from me, reached back and proceeded to slap me hard across the face...
I whipped my face back around, grabbed her wrist again to stop her from lashing out another time, pushed her back on the bed and growled at her... my anger and desire struggling for supremacy.
She looked at me defiantly, but there was no fear in her eyes.
I pushed her roughly back into the softness of the bed, pinning her arms above her head with one hand, after wrenching her across the bed by wrapping my other arm under her rib cage and heaving her over, I then proceeded to push my right leg up between her legs so that I straddled her right leg, whilst maintaining pressure against her crotch with my thigh.
“I love you.” I growled. “I want you to be mine... but I wanted it to be right!”
She still didn’t look intimidated... her pupils were dilated from the lack of light, her tears had stopped, and her breathing had altered completely, almost like she was in the throes of passion. I knew, because mine had too, although my heart was beating so fast, I swear I could feel it bashing her chest too.
She tilted her head slightly, she licked her lips tentatively, and I dashed forward to devour her mouth.
Summer.
Oh. My. God... this is what I wanted. I wanted him. Jordan had been sweet in his passion, gentle, even in his urgency... but right now I realised that in sex, I wanted fire! I wanted to be dominated! I wanted to be possessed... and Blake wanted to possess me. Blake, the sweet artsy guy, who talked music, literature and fashion with me... he was the guy who wanted to take me... to consume me. It scared the hell out of me, but right now I just wanted him to. I just wanted him to take what he desired from me... every cell in my body was begging him to, desperately.
He was kissing me... consuming me, and I was returning the kiss wantonly.
I moved my crotch so that it generated heat with the friction against his thigh, so he pushed his leg in harder. I pushed my chest up towards him, so he moved his arm out from behind me, and started to feel up under my camisole, till he reached my breast and began rolling my nipple and massaging my c-cup boob.
A grunt escaped me, as fire generated from my nipple and my crotch simultaneously towards my centre, and began to bank and swell in my belly.
Blake was roughly holding my arms in place above my head, but I wanted him to. His throat emitted harsh moans, and I could feel the swell of his penis against my hip.
I wanted him to fuck me... hard! I began to arch into him and he responded by moving his mouth down to my throat, suckling and biting it at the junction with my shoulder. He continued the pressure with his thigh against my pussy, and I continued to make movements that were going to bring me to orgasm.
Blake pinched my nipple, hard, and a shudder ran through me, and I gasped.
“You like that?” he asked huskily.
“Yes.” I replied.
“God Summer, I want you so much...” Blake moaned.
I sought out his mouth... so, he clamped it over mine, and his incredible ministrations with his hand continued relentlessly. I was trapped beneath him... and I desperately wanted more.
I could feel my orgasm build up in me... it was like being in a runaway cart, without a brake pedal. There was no way I could prevent the oncoming slaughter of my soul. I wanted to reach the end, because of the ache... because it promised bliss.
My hips were operating on their own agenda now, free from my influence; my breath was maintaining me, keeping me alive, but doing little more than that; my mind was screaming for release, and my heart was beating uncontrollably. I was so overwhelmed!
From deep within my womb, my heart and my mind... an explosion occurred... shattering! Every muscle in the core of my body wa
s twitching, I tried to scream out, arching my neck to throw out my guttural roar, but Blake kept his mouth on mine, and absorbed as much of the sound as he could. I was ragged, I felt like cotton wool... I wanted to cry! I also wanted Blake to go on... and fuck me, but he didn’t.
Blake.
Debbie was going to return any minute now. I was caught between wanting Summer, and not wanting to get caught.
The wanting Summer was more consuming, bordering on psychotic. I felt desperate. I wanted to seize her, claim her, and make her mine.
She wanted me to, I could feel it in the way she kissed me, the way she moved against me. I removed my arm from under her and travelled up under her camisole till her found her breast, it was free from a bra, which was handy... so I grabbed her breast and began to play with her nipple. It tightened further than it had already, and I rolled it under my hand.
My right thigh was pressed up against her mound... she was warm; I felt the clammy heat from her pussy permeate through her panties, tiny bed shorts and my jeans. It made me want to go down on her and taste her, but I needed to stay where I was at the moment in case we were interrupted, which was high on the agenda.
I applied more pressure with my thigh, she was moaning wildly now, and wantonly thrusting along my thigh, it was turning me on so much, I knew I might blow in my boxers. I grabbed her nipple and pinched it hard, this caused her to spasm... oh she liked that!
I kept up kissing her, playing aggressively with her nipple and applying pressure to her pussy until she came. Guttural, all consuming and absolutely magnificent. I felt her unravel against me. I could feel her twitching, her body spasm underneath me...
I almost came too... except Debbie had chosen that moment to knock on the door.
“You two need to come downstairs... I need to talk to you... to everyone!” Debbie said.
“Be right down.” I replied, hoping she couldn’t tell what had just occurred, since my voice was kind of betraying me.
I looked down on Summer, who was still shaking slightly. I sighed, and dropped my forehead to her chest.
“It’s okay,” she said, “we better go.”
I couldn’t reply, I just pushed off of her, and made my way to the ensuite. I was getting a serious case of blue balls... I needed a moment to masturbate... yep... just had to get that sorted out right then. Otherwise everyone downstairs would be witness to an explosion.
Summer.
I felt bliss, but also intense frustration at the interruption... all at the same time. And then I had realization... I was on Sal’s bed. Oh no, that’s not where I wanted to be... and seconds later... I remembered a ten-year-old being submitted to a violent act of sex... no, rape!
I gasped... this unbidden image was altering my experience with Blake. What kind of slut was I? I wanted to be dominated by someone... not just someone... by Blake! Blake who’d been molested as a child. I suddenly felt like a sick fuck! I didn’t know why I desired that kind of experience.
I was screwed up in the head... I was mental! Something was wrong with me!
I got up off the bed. I made my way to the hallway, and down to my door. I entered my room, whisked off my shorts and panties, grabbed some tissues and wiped from between my legs any trace of my arousal, before dumping the tissues into my bin and replacing my panties with fresh ones, and putting on a skirt. I tore my camisole over my head, and replaced it with a bra and singlet top.
I could hear Blake calling me from Sal’s room...
I’m sorry Blake, but you don’t want me... there’s something seriously wrong with me.
The door to my room swung open, just as I was about to reach for it.
“There you are,” a flushed Blake said. “Let’s get downstairs then.”
“Okay.” I said quietly, unable to meet his gaze.
Blake.
We made our way downstairs and into the dining room. Jordan was sitting between Max and Julie, Debbie sat opposite Max, and there were two more place settings along her side for us.
I struggled to focus on the food on our plates due to the intense stare Jordan was giving Summer; I wanted to jump across the table and rip his eyes out. She was no longer his... he had no claim to her anymore... I hoped.
Summer was seated beside Debbie, which meant she was immediately opposite Jordan... an oversight if ever there was one. Couldn’t her aunt and uncle... oh, no; her foster parents... see how this was screwed up?
Max cleared his throat.
“Summer, we’re very worried about you.” He began, “For the last week, you’ve been moping around, and steadily declining; today... well today, Debbie tells me you’ve been almost inconsolable.” He stated.
Summer nodded, but refused to look up.
“Well, some decisions need to be made, and I’m afraid that Deb and I have made them for you.” He said politely.
I did a double take... what decisions?
Max continued, turning to Jordan; “Jordan... I appreciate that you have a great affection for Summer, but you need to cool your heels boy. If she’s asked you to leave, or told you she doesn’t want to be with you, then you have to man up and take the hit!” Max explained, bluntly but kindly.
Yes, I liked this... I wanted Jordan out of this as well.
“Now, the fact is... although Summer appears to be a strong girl, full of high spirits and resilient; she is in fact quite a fragile young lady. I hate to have to say it, but I believe she needs a change of scenery while this difficult time is being navigated.” Max explained, looking at all of us directly in the eye.
What do you mean, change of scenery?
“Look, Debbie phoned Sally today, and despite Sally just taking on a new job, and Henry doing his Masters degree this year, she has offered to have Summer stay with them for the remainder of the holidays, until Blake and her move to New Jersey to attend college in five weeks.” Max explained.
I couldn’t help it, I visibly slumped. Julie did a quick eye scan of the situation and then gave me a sympathetic look, and Jordan sat stiff and angry in his seat, boring a hole into the top of Summer’s head with his intense stare.
Summer just remained static, like a statue.
Sally lived in Jersey City, about an hour and a half away, but it might as well have been on another planet in terms of accessibility ease.
“Now, it’s just another month, and then you’ll all be so busy with your new studies and adult lives that all of this won’t even matter anymore. I hope all this angst will clear and Summer will return to her normal cheerful self by then.” Max explained, smiling at us all.
“How about it honey?” Debbie asked Summer. “I’ll drive you there in the morning.”
“Sure... why not?” Summer replied flatly.
Not what I’d expected... I was thinking she might say ‘no way,’ or ‘I’m okay, things are going to get better!’ but no, she simply accepted their decision without batting an eye.
I was furious!
Summer.
It was a good idea... it would allow me time to think about what I needed to do about Blake. It might give me time to rearrange our living arrangements for college too. Plus Jordan might calm down by the time college started.
Anyway, I missed Sally... I could talk to her... she could help me get things into perspective.
Blake.
I helped clear the table. Jordan had already made his goodbyes to Max and Debbie. He had pulled Summer aside... and I had struggled to let him get so close, but I couldn’t let him know what my intentions were just now. He was still my friend, and he deserved at least my continued pretend ambivalence.
When he’d moved his body into her, stooping, and looking up into her eyes which remained downcast, he appeared gentle, soft and kind. He pulled her hair away from her face... “I love you.” I heard him say... it felt like a kick in the gut.
Back in the kitchen, Debbie and Julie were rinsing and stacking the dishes, talking excitedly about what Summer would be privy to in New York for the break.
“Mrs. MacFarlane... when do you plan on leaving in the morning?”
“Umm... I don’t want to be hitting traffic on Meeker Avenue and so forth; so, probably around 8:00am.” She answered.
“Can I come along? I’ll return with you.” I asked. I had a good reason to want to go... I didn’t know where Sal lived... if I knew I may be able to convince Sally to let me visit Summer on my own.
Debbie sighed... Looking down at her wet hands, she grabbed a hand towel and proceeded to dry them. Looking up at me, she smiled. It wasn’t a very convincing smile, I was expecting her to say no, but she surprised me.
“Sure, why not.” And turning to Julie, she asked, “Did you want to tag along as well?”
I gave my sister a hopeful look. If she went, then Summer and I could share the back seat, in addition to Julie providing interference for me while we were there.
Julie recognised my look for what it was, “Sure... it’ll be fun! Can we do a spot of shopping while we’re there too?”
“We won’t have a lot of time, but maybe we can drive over to Jersey Gardens and pick up a few bargains.” Debbie winked at Julie... Julie beamed.
I returned to the dining room to find it empty. Walking around the downstairs area, I didn’t locate Summer till I heard some murmuring from Max’s office. A quick listen, confirmed that both Summer and Max were inside the office, but I felt wrong about entering Max’s domain.
I took a seat on the bottom step. It was a good lookout spot.
Down the hallway, I saw Summer retreat from the office. Looking up she saw me. She momentarily stopped before continuing to walk to me.
“Hi,” she said, walking up to me.
“Hi...” I replied, smiling. “We need to talk.”
“I know.”
“Well, how about we duck out the back and ‘talk’.” I offered.
“Okay.” She sighed.
Summer.
After confirming with Max that I indeed wanted to go to Sal’s, and having a brief conversation about how he felt I perhaps should lay off boyfriends for a while and concentrate on myself, since things were affecting me so badly to be in complicated relationships; I stepped out of the office, only to see Blake seated on the bottom step of the stairs.